Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Red Shark's LiveJournal:

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Friday, December 8th, 2006
1:19 pm	I have a little less then 2 hours before I have to be at work and I feel so stale. I had one of those all nighters last night and don't feel like getting dressed in my Sundays best and heading out into the cold. It's hard to explain and if I try to start from the beginning I will mess up the middle and forget the end. Yesterday started out like any other day. One eye than the other. I rolled over and laid there looking out the window until enough time had passed then started poking Rickie. 3 weeks later we were up and bundled, bickering over who's fault it was that we were late. I packed lite cause I was just gonna drop rickie off and come back home and skip class. I stepped foot out the door and the cold reassured me I was still alive. I walked down to my Vespa and let it warm up as me and rickie prepare for cold wind to make it's way through our coats, sweaters, shirts, thermals and bones. Right then my neighbor forest comes out of this apartment building right behind my house. Some girl had just hug herself in the lobby. Nothing had time to register. Before I knew it I was coming down the hill making those big, wide, all to familiar turns that thouse scooters make. I dumped off rick then came back home. I jumped this little fence and walked the perimeter of the adjacent building. On the other side there were ambulances and cop cars scattered all around the main entrance. There was too much going on at once to try and understand the situation. Hanging yourself in the lobby is basically a big fuck you to the world from a depressed angry person. My first guess was college student who couldn't take the pressure of finals, is not doing well with being away from home and the cold weather. I looked up and saw a plastic bag caught on a bare tree branch flapping around like the flag of a broken dream. it was depressing. I looked back down and an ambulance door swung open. I saw a stretcher covered in a cloth with the outline of body on it and a cop hopped out for a cigarette. At that moment my heart sunk and I came to a perfect understanding of the situation. I went inside and drank my first 5th. Without any breakfast I was able to be lost by 10am, a new record for myself. ************************************************* I drank all day and all night. I drank till i ran out of pot then took a nap around 5. I woke up and did a few rails and made myself another drink. Some people came over and it was kind of fun but nothing to write home about. I tried to fall a sleep later to no avail. I just laid there taking it all in and watched my heart beat through my stomach. It was really loud like the empty space where heart was supposed to be made room for a big echo. It felt like I wasn't exhaling, it felt like someone was just sucking my soul out every time I tried to breath. I watched the sun rise and snow start to fall. Once again I poked rickie till she got up and got all layered. I checked the weather and with the wind chill factor it was -5. It was decided that vespa is staying home and we're taking the subway. It was cold and I was still depressed. My stomach hurt from being so hungry but I couldn't manage to put anything down. as our train approached our stop we got our belongings together and made our way to the front of the train. As I stepped off it was the same scene as the morning before. Cops all over. Apparently a homeless man and just got hit by the train. after that I walked through the snow alone for a while then came home. This post took one hour. In less than 45 minutes I will be selling furniture and trying not to throw up in my mouth. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 14th, 2006
10:31 pm	Tonight at midnight I am seeing Donnie Darko at this old movie theater. It's really cool they have like red crushed velvet curtains that draw and cool school lighting that dims right before you movie starts. They even have a balcony. Were gonna smoke a Jay first and get a crepes at this fancy creperie. Last night there was the most ridiculous party at my house. a couple of bands played and everyone was trashed. I met this guy who called himself the PA Prophet. I think he smoked meth cause all of his teeth were rotting out of his mouth and he would not shut up. He smoked me out and tagged all over these stairs in my room. The dude was a trip. That was my update for the night. (Comment on this)
Monday, August 28th, 2006
10:39 am	from bean burrito town to just bean town, Mr. Bennion has been a lonely dude. On Wednesday my dad is flying out to visit then Rickie comes on Thursday so its almost over. This house is a lot different than my house in Jamul. At first I was really unhappy. I wanted my high-def TV back and my big leather couches. I wanted my girlfriend and my computer back. I wanted my clean bathroom back. When I first got here I was sleeping on the couch. It was alright but it was hard to stay up long enough for the bodies to clear out of my living room. I arrived 3 days before an old roommate john was leaving so night after night there were celebrations here. It was hard to take. As soon as I got here I got a new Vespa and started working. It was hard working an 8 hour day and coming home to a bunch of drunks watching family feud on your bed (the couch). I have been living out of suit case and using the internet on my phone for over a week now. After John left I had his tiny room to sleep in. It was similar to shape in size to the room Harry Potter slept in under the stairs. he left a mattress on the floor for me which has been my bed for the past 5 days. The room has no lights so I only go in there right before I fall asleep or when I'm on the phone. However this still isnt my room. Soon another roommate is coming home and she is moving into this tiny room and I am moving into her old room. Shes should be home today but does'nt have to give up her room till the 1st. We have the only two bedrooms upstairs so basically we'll have our own bathroom. I am going to clean the shit out of that bathroom... no pun intended and hope this chick is clean cause I can stand a dirty bathroom. By Saturday I will have my queen size bed back, my 1000 thread count sheets, and my dad is buying me a microfridge/freezer which is basically a whole kitchen in one. I am pretty sure my computer will be arriving then too. Also is me and Rickie's one year anniversary so things are looking up. Work has been going really well. I have been working 8 hour shift everyday which took a little getting used to but I am back in the sing of things. Working at West Elm I am making pretty good money and get a 40% discount on all Williams and Sonoma, Pottery Barn, Hold Everything, and of course West Elm stuff. As soon as a few paychecks come in I am going to buy myself so much nice furniture. I have met a few really nice people too. Since the 21st we have been unloading full semi's full of boxed furniture and building floor models which has not been very pleasant but thats all over and the store is opening on Wednesday. Today we are rehearsing and practicing everything we know for out "soft opening" tomorrow. Basically a soft opening is when you just unlock the doors the day before you are scheduled to open and just see who walks in. I was really glad to hear that cause I was really nervous about having to apply everything I just learned in a crowded store full of people. It will make Wednesday a little easier. Wednesday I have been instructed to "dress the nine" because the press are supposed to be there all day which is kinda nerve racking. Besides all that I have just drinking PBRs, smoking a lot of mid-grade chronic, and meeting a lot of new people. Current Mood: numb Current Music: Aesop Rock (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 11th, 2006
8:48 am	Oh hey and Keith.... Happy Birthday (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 29th, 2006
8:56 am	I got a speeding ticket in the mail yesterday. I was in Arizona going 76 in a 65 and got tagged by a speeding camera. remind me to never go back to that hell hole. Arizona truly is the armpit of the world (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
8:36 am	blows my mind http://www.rense.com/general72/size.htm (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
1:51 am	and they said the walking on the moon was for astronauts Tonight I will pass out to fevers and mirrors and a half empty bottle of wine. Current Mood: numb (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 22nd, 2006
3:33 pm	life would be so easy if I was afraid of sin Since my brother has come home from his mission my parents have bought him a new truck, a new iPod, a new cell phone, all new clothes, a brand new laptop, and a surfboard and wetsuit. They have filled up his tank and given him at least 200 bucks a week. When I asked them when the scales will be balanced they told me they arent going to treat us the same because he has gone on a mission. for the past few days I have truly felt like a 2nd rate son. My brother is one of the most air headed people I know. The only reason he went on a mission was because it was expected of him and he was afraid to do anything else or think for himself. My mother keeps pictures of him in his suit and tie out and puts that report card with all those A's of mine in the trash. After a few days of distancing myself from my dad he came downstairs this afternoon and gave me a new pocket knife. I said thank you and sat giving him a quarter of my attention as he told me about an altercation at work. after a while he left and went in and punched a few keys on my moms computer. The knife was ugly and a weak attempt at patching holes. 10 minutes later he came in and took the watch of his wrist and handed it to me. He just said he wanted me to have it and trampled up the stairs. My mom is the same way. They can both feel the negativity I feel towards them and try to bandage the wounds in our relationship with money. They mistake love for money. They just dont undertand Last Christmas my parents got me an iPod, my sister got a down payment on a house. on a lighter note I am getting a medicinal marijuana card soon. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
7:21 pm	Since I have been home I put forth little effort in finding a job. I have manged to waste an entire month away and can proudly say I have barely spent any of that time on myspace. Instead I can finally blame pot for this lethergic month. My parents got sick of giving me cash for financing my adventures and my mom got me a job at her work, the San Diego labor union. I am not sure what she does here But I am stuck in this back room with a bunch drug addicts who desperately needed a job like me. We are stuck to these computer for 4 hours a day, Monday - Thursday calling Chula Vista residents asking for their support for mayor Steve Padilla... it goes like this Hi, my name is __________ and I am a union volunteer here to talk about the upcoming Primary election. I would like to ask you a couple questions regarding the coming elections. →The first thing I like to ask you about is regarding the Mayor. The San Diego-Imperial Counties labor Council as well as the Chula Vista Police and Fire Departments have endorsed Mayor Steve Padilla; a candidate that has a proven history showing support for working families and union members in Chula Vista. Steve has created financially stability, job growth, and stable pensions for working families in Chula Vista. Can we count on your to support of Mayor Steve Padilla? IF UNDECIDED: Please Keep in mind-Mayor Steve Padilla has been a key component in the creation of Union Jobs, and Labor Peace in the city of Chula Vista for the last four years. He has supported working families by keeping the budget sound, pensions are safe and the development of parks and recreation are at a peak. Can we count on your support of Mayor Steve Padilla? I feel like complete scum. I have woken up so many people, interrupted so many dinners, made so many people get translators and put in hearing aids. I have used this time for some serious thinking and researching. In an attempt to redeem myself for this I plan on flying to Africa and work in an orphanage for a month. It only costs 1000 bucks and would definitely be an adventure. Even if I cant make it this summer I am going soon. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006
5:55 pm	does anyone want to save up 1500 bucks and go on an adventure with me? (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 8th, 2006
1:45 pm	Absinthe is gnarly (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 7th, 2006
2:27 pm	My week in a nutshell Right now I am sitting in Rickie's living room with her and her sister watching Buffy the vampire slayer and I am trying to figure out how anyone likes this ridiculous show. This is the musical episode and it is probably one of the worst tv shows I have ever seen in my whole life. It's meant to be a joke but nothing about this is funny. I would rather be watching Zena warrior princess or Hercules. This last week has been really strange. My brother came home from his mission in the Ukraine. He didnt know I was a tattooed, pierced, drug felon. I wasnt sure how he was gonna take to the new me but i think things went alright. Im not sure if he's just shell shocked or if he's always been this spacey. He's kind of an airhead now but it's still nice to have him home. Unfortunately he brought with him tons of Mormon relatives which took an awkward situation and made it like 36 times worse. This morning I had to go to church and I forgot how much I hate it. I am so sick of people try to convert me. Yesterday my brother invited me to come to the temple with him so I could read my sciptures on the grounds. Eventually everyone will come to terms with the fact that I am not Mormon. Having all these people home also means I have no car most of the time. Drinking at home has also become difficult. On that note if one more person asks me how Boston is I am only going to reply with "cold" and switch the subject... I am so sick of answering that question. Yesterday morning I bought Radiohead tickets (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 1st, 2006
4:08 pm	I like coachella (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 21st, 2006
10:56 am	And so it goes A few weeks ago I was riding my bike home from Rickie's dorm late at night weaving through traffic and trying to make it home quickly. I had a cigarette in my mouth, my iPod on, and my hood up, just trying to shut out the bitter cold. Right as I got to the base of Parker Hill Ave. (my street) a cop came flying around the corner making an illegal turn into the wrong side of the street and hit me. My iPod shut off and my cigarette went flying. I got up, brushed myself off and walked my bike home. I didnt really think anything of it, I knew it would happen sooner or later. There was no real damage done so I just put in in the back of my mind. Turns out that cop knocked one of my breaks loose and bent the back tire. From that day on the back tire was rubbing on the back breaks actually slowing me down thus making me have to work harder and wearing down my breaks. Last week my breaks completely gave out. Luckily enough I wasn't going down hill and I wasn't far from the bike shop. They told me I was in dire needed of a tune up and it was gonna cost me 45 bucks wich is basically all I have. So I left my bike at the shop and walked back to Rickie's. That was last Saturday so I have been immobilized for almost a week now. Since then the Bike master called and told me that this would continue happening because my back wheel was completely bent. A new wheel would cost 75 dollars which is money I dont have. I went along with it and instructed the man to replace my tire. I have been late to school everyday this week and I am sick of it. Today I am picking up my bike but the moral of the story is.... Being broke, late everywhere and without a bike, and having to cram all my finals 3 weeks early sucks. Dishes and laundry have piled up and it getting hard to stay a float. I have 4 days left of school and 6 days of Boston left. I just have to make it past Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Today I started packing which makes me happy. Laundry is next, followed by dishes. Tonight I am gonna hang out with some friends, my girl is taking me to PF Changs and buying a bottle and I'm gonna do this last weekend in Boston right. I'm ready to go from bean town to bean burrito town. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 9th, 2006
11:00 am	I'm getting excited I think I am probably gonna get out of school early and be able to not come back to Boston Coachella. I have talked to 2 of my 3 professors and they are letting me take the final early and I hoping my other teacher will bend for me. there is less than 10 people in the class so I dont think it would be that big of a deal and I've scored over 100 on every test so I think he'll let me so it. I'm really happy about that cause it saved me a bunch of money and time. My brother is going to come home from his mormon mission in a few weeks and It will be really nice be able to see him. It been 2 years. I think he will be quite disappointed in me but I'm pretty sure he'll get over it. My family has spent way too much money redoing my house all for this huge welcome home party and I would feel like shit if I missed it because of this one teacher. If all goes to plan this is my last 2 weeks up here till Sept. yesterday I got really bored and played with my computer. I was sick of windows and hate Macs so I made something in between ( My creation ) I really like it (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 27th, 2006
11:38 am	You know I am really starting to enjoy college. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 20th, 2006
11:47 pm	life in general... what a broad topic I think I am gonna have to give up this job at this high end seafood restaurant because it conflicts with my school schedule. I am disappointed to say the least. I love working, money, and seafood and they are 3 things I truly miss since i have been here. This job has so much potential and this stupid community college seems so unfit for me but I came here to be a student. I just hate being broke and it seems like I have been counting nickles and eating top ramen for so long. Then end was in sight and now I have to return that uniform. I am already behind in school from my trip to San Diego and am in dire need of a plane ticket for coachella. To make things worse I am burned out from a crazy St. Patrick's day weekend and my legs burn from all the bike riding. Soon I am gonna cut my sideburns off cause my hair is getting really long. I also am gonna start eating actual healthy foods in hopes of more energy cause that bike is all i got to get me around this city. Plus a meal oriented grocery list is cheaper than usual chinse food and pizza. I have also decided that I am gonna not drink so much. Without this job I really cant afford to by handles of vodka every week. For now I am gonna push submit and lower my head and try to work through the exhaustion Current Mood: crushed Current Music: Common (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:27 am	so it goes I am not going be a vegetarian anymore. This doesn't mean I have broaden my horizon to carniasada burritos... just that I will eat chicken lean poultry and seafood in healthy quantities. I dont ever think I could eat a steak or a cheese burger. I dont care if I catch shit from everyone about this either so dont waste your time with stupid comments Current Mood: blank Current Music: Ladytron (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 16th, 2006
8:32 am	San Diego And so I leave, as fast as I came. I like it here. I like the sun and I like the food but most importantly I like that my name means something here. Back east they call me "Rickie's boyfriend" but here I actually have a name. I enjoy spending time with friends instead of wasting time trying to make friends. Just cut the bullshit, stop causal drinking pour those stiff and get FADED (in the dumb Alex voice). I liked being drunk, jolly, half dressed and dancing around in he middle of the night as I pretend my skin is calloused to these tropical conditions. I like the lack of responsibility. I'm really looking forward to the summer however right now I want to be home. That's right I used the term home to describe the north east. I miss the satisfaction of actually achieving something or being productive. I miss flat roads and easy bike rides. I miss having a kitchen, public transportation and curling up in my bed watching a movie and of course my girlfriend. When I get back to Boston I am gonna try to not be such a recluse. For right now I will pack cause tonight I'm sleeping in my own bed. Tomorrow is the start of a long, drunken St. Patrick's day weekend but I will drink in Keith's names and blame the hang overs on the Ides of March. Godspeed Until Coachella -Brett Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Daft Punk (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 12th, 2006
1:13 pm	Rickie and I spend the majority of our night together spooning with our eyes glued to that razor thin TV, sandwiched between memory foam and 1500 thread count sheets and for 2 hours I feel rich. Then we get up and eat top ramen because it only cost 12 cents a pack and I forget everything except the burning sensation in my mouth as kinked noodles drenched in boiling brother and 3 kinds of hot sauce slither down my throat. It’s the best thing for hangovers or when its just really fucking cold and with my drinking habits and the city I live in it's usually both all the time. (1 Comment |Comment on this)